Infertility Treatment, Chronic Disease Treatment, Alternative Medicine Treatment, Infertility
 
 
 

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Phone Mobile 091 98791 58791
Landline 091 79 2667 2700

Infertility Treatment, Chronic Disease Treatment, Alternative Medicine Treatment, Infertility - Alternative Medicine
   
   
 
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Specialist
Infertility Treatment Specialist, Chronic Disease Treatment Specialist, Alternative Medicine Treatment Specialist, Infertility - Alternative Medicine Specialist
DR PRAKASH SHAH
M.D.
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Dr Prakash Shah

Senior Practioner interested in management of health
tele physician

Phone – mobile 091 98791 58791

Land line – 091 79 26672700

Web address –

http://www.ChronicTreat.com
http://www.DiseaseRemove.com 
emails – prakashbaroda@yahoo.comprakashbaroda45@gmail.com

Marriage Counseling

Ashish and Alka Mehra are both doctors but could not cure their ailing marriage when it snowballed into routine fights and infidelity. Though divorce seemed inevitable, the couple decided to approach me for help. A 4 months of counseling, the Mehras' marriage is on its way to recovery. The first sign is communication breakdown. At that stage, no argument seems to work.

"When you feel that you are saying something and your partner is hearing something else, it means there is a problem," In fact, most extramarital affairs are nothing but a manifestation of a crisis in marriage that has gone unaddressed.

One another case Mrs. Pallavi Parikh saved her marriage this way. Her husband was unwilling to have any counselling or coaching. She was desperate to get some help as they had already been separated before. She had several complaints about her husband. Through co aching, she learned various ways of communicating with him. She also learned about some of her own issues. Having worked on her relationship through the coaching process; she has saved her marriage. Her children are happier and her own self-confidence has grown.

Whatever your situation, your intention to improve your relationship will make your counseling powerful. You will find new solutions and your self-esteem will grow. I will help you focus on the future and heal the past. You will improve your relationship with yourself first of all and then be able to create the relationship you have always longed for. Give it a go! you will be amazed at the results!

For adults, divorce can be one of life’s most stressful life events. The decision to divorce often is met with ambivalence and uncertainty about the future. If children are involved, they may experience negative effects such as denial, feelings of abandonment, anger, blame, guilt, preoccupation with reconciliation, and acting out.

People have understood the importance of marital counseling. many people get angry when told that there is no problem with the marriage but it is their individual difficulties that are causing the problems," The problem mainly lies in the unrealistic expectations and aims troubled couples have from counseling. "Often they come in thinking that they want to fix their spouse or that someone will tell them where exactly thing are going wrong or that the counselor will do the dirty work of conveying the bad news to the partner.

When couples encounter following problems it is appropriate to seek marriage counseling.

  1. Communication has become negative.
  2. When one or both partners consider having an affair
  3. When the partners do not know how to resolve their differences.
  4. When the only resolution appears to be separation.
  5. When a couple is staying together for the sake of the children

Marriage counseling therapy Short term counseling may be between 1 to 3 sessions whereas long term couples therapy may be between 12 and 24 sessions. Couples therapy is more about seemingly intractable problems with a relationship history, where emotions are the target.

Basic principles of Marriage counseling therapy

Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in a failure to function optimally and produce self-reinforcing, maladaptive patterns. - negative interaction cycles." There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication/understanding or problem solving, ill health, third parties and so on. Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses and actions of the individuals in a relationship.

A viable solution to the problem and setting these relationships back on track may be due to individuals' perceptions and emotions - how one looks at or responds to situations and feels about them. Perceptions of and emotional responses to a relationship are contained within mental map of the relationship. The core values can then be understood and changed when no longer appropriate. This implies that each person takes equal responsibility for awareness of the problem as it arises, awareness of their own contribution to the problem and making some fundamental changes in thought and feeling.

The partners are alternately mutually dependent on each other and has the need for intimacy and for autonomy and satisfaction in the relationship and stability. But it depends on the specific developing duties of each partner in every life phase and maturity".

Method of Marriage counseling therapy

This focus primarily on the process of communicating. The most commonly used method is active listening, couples should learn a method of communicating designed to create a safe environment for each partner to express and hear feelings.

Active listening did a better job creating a safe environment. and therefore the listener is trained in-depth with mental exercises and methods to interpret as love what might otherwise feel abusive.
Often healthy couples almost never listen and echo each other's feelings naturally. Exercise itself didn't help couples to improve their marriages. It was a clinical dead end.

Emotions bring the past alive in rigid interaction patterns, which create and reflect absorbing emotional states. These forget about learning how to argue better, analysing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, recognize and admit that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.

Aim of Marriage counseling therapy:

To identify the repetitive, negative interaction cycle - understand the source of reactive emotions.- re-organize key emotional responses in the relationship - facilitate a shift in partners' interaction to new patterns of interaction. - create new and positively bonding emotional events in the relationship - foster a secure attachment between partners and maintain a sense of intimacy. Develop - Respect - Empathy - Tact - Consent - Confidentiality - Accountability - Expertisen - Evidence based - ongoing training

Exercises In Marriage Counseling Therapy - I evaluates the couple's personal and relationship story as it is narrated, interrupts wisely, facilitates both de-escalation of unhelpful conflict and the development of realistic, practical solutions. Individualistic approaches to couple problems can cause harm. The counselor or therapist encourages the participants to give their best efforts to reorienting their relationship with each other. One of the challenges here is for each person to change their own responses to their partner's behaviour. Other challenges to the process are disclosing controversial or shameful events and revealing closely guarded secrets. Not all couples put all of their cards on the table at first. This can take time.

 

What to expect in Marriage counseling

Marriage counseling can help you decide what the future might hold for each one of you, and for you as a couple. In marriage counselling you're encouraged and supported to:

  1. ... explain your hopes, dreams and concerns
  2. ... understand each other better - one of the greatest benefits of couple counselling
  3. ... manage differences of opinion
  4. ... improve relationship communication
  5. ... explore whether there's still hope, or whether to end the relationship
  6. ... talk more - and more helpfully - to improve marital harmony
  7. ... learn problem solving strategies
  8. ... identify your ’wants’ and needs
  9. ... identify what works well in your relationship or marriage -– there are always things that are going well!
  10. ... process and move on from the disappointments, hurts and anger
  11. ... identify your own innate and acquired individual resources
  12. ... identify your resources as a couple
  13. ... explore the impact of ending your relationship - positive and negative
  14. ... cope and manage you losses if it's your decision to end your relationship/marriage
  15. ... come to terms with, heal and move on when dealing with infidelity
  16. ... get to know yourself better.

Often one of the partners doesn't want to go for couple counselling - for whatever reason. Very often it's the male partner. If you really think that relationship or marriage counselling can help and your husband or wife won't go - then you can start by yourself. Your partner may decide to join you at a later stage.

Marriage counseling therapy can help you to:

1. Feel happier, lighter and more energetic
2. Understand why you were depressed and how to prevent it
3. Feel calmer
4. Find relief from (traumatic) stress symptoms
5. Feel better - recover from fears and phobias or heal trauma
6. Find relief from previously ‘bottled up’ feelings
7. Enhance your social skills if needed
8. Meet your essential emotional needs more in balance
9. Increase your awareness of your innate and acquired resources
10. Increase your confidence and self esteem

Marriage counseling process.

  • make counselling/therapy as painless as possible
  • not dwell on the past unnecessarily
  • aim to help you to feel better after every consultation.
  • give information and advice if needed
  • explain how your brain works with regards to emotion.
  • help you to access the same relaxed state as when you dream
  • increase your knowledge without jargon or ‘psychobabble’
  • use a variety of techniques as appropriate
  • calm high levels of emotions as soon as possible
  • encourage new understandings and solutions.
  • adapt the therapy flexibly and uniquely for you
  • avoid using a ’preferred’ theory regardless of your problems
  • support you when difficult feelings emerge without dwelling on them
  • be aware of research in psychology, neurobiology and counselling
  • help you overcome your problems in as few sessions as possible
  • consider the effects of counselling on the people close to you
  • teach you to relax deeply.

If you're facing a divorce, you may feel that your partner is pulling all the strings. This might leave you feeling out of control and frightened.

Life after a separation often resembles a roller-coaster ride with all its foreseeable (and unforeseeable) ups and downs. There are nearly always many twists and turns before the final Decree Nisi.

I can't tell you how important it is to keep the channels of communication open.

The right divorce advice from appropriate professionals can save your sanity and will ensure that you're coping with your divorce the best you can.

Communicating effectively when you're both emotional can seem at times impossible. However, remaining at the very least polite and co-operative is vital if you have children.

You may be splitting up, but you are going to be parents for the rest of your lives.

What if you want divorce

The partner who wants to end the marriage wants distance. They're often afraid that any show sympathy may be seen as a sign of hope that separation or divorce can be averted. The other desperately needs the comfort of a close attachment. They need to be able to ask questions, and they want answers, commitment, and reassurance.

The right kind of divorce advice is vital.

For advice about making the process as painless as possible, do have a look at my Divorce Tips.

12 ways divorce advice and counselling can help with 'how to get divorced'

  1. understand normal reactions to stress and loss
  2. explore the possible reasons for the break-up
  3. understand what might be going on for you and your partner now
  4. communicate effectively with your partner
  5. explore sources of support
  6. advise you of appropriate services
  7. identify and access your own personal resources
  8. communicate with the most important people in your life
  9. advise you on how to support the children
  10. facilitate re-engagement with each other if there is a glimmer of hope
  11. re-engage with life and find new meaning if there isn't
  12. 'normalise' feelings, thoughts and behaviours during this time of crisis, so that you feel better able to cope with your divorce

Divorce or separation can be really, really tough - I so understand this. And the prospect of actually surviving divorce and moving on with your life might seem impossible to you right now.

At the end of the day the goal is happiness, and behaving in ways that benefit you will help you achieve that goal much more efficiently than finding ways to hurt your spouse.

Revenge cannot repair losses or compensate for betrayal. Revenge is a sign of weakness. It is clear that the revenge-seeker has been hurt badly and that they are unable to cope. You don't want to give your spouse the opportunity to thrive on your weakness and misery. Demonstrating that you are strong and able to live happily despite what they have done to hurt you.

 

 

Guidance for couple.

Couples are on a long journey together. "The opportunity to learn to love is immense,". Marriage is a dynamic experience. "You have to keep having these conversations for the rest of your life,". "You don't wish a house, you build a house." being together should be fun. "So many people work their partners to death, work their problems to death," adding that play, intimacy and ease are important.

1. There's no such thing as Mr. or Ms. Right for you...

2. Talk isn't cheap: it's your most valuable investment.
Good, regular communication is the key to a good marriage. talking creates connection, empathy and intimacy.

3. A relationship is like a car: you need to change the oil every three months.
"How are we doing?" conversation every three months, no matter how long you have been married.

4. Being emotional is better than being rational.
relationships are by their nature emotional, not rational, so don't build a case with facts and figures -- focus on your feelings and the rest will follow.

5. No one "wins" unless you both do.
If it's about feelings, then nobody's right -- or wrong. It's a conversation, not a fight, so stop trying to win. "When you are into a win-lose pattern, you are both going to lose."

6. How you feel is up to you.
"There is probably nothing more important in a relationship than the art of making yourself happy," How? Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings. In some ways this has little to do with your partner. Instead of blaming others for how you feel realize that how you feel is up to you. You can choose to be angry or annoyed, or you can choose not to be. It's not what happens, it's what you make it mean.

7. Women aren't from Venus and men aren't from Mars.
Who talks more? Women? No. Studies show men talk more and interrupt more. Maybe your husband wants to be held more, maybe he needs to talk about his worries at work or his concerns about aging. You're more alike than you think!

8. When you argue, it should be all about you.
This powerful communication tool is simple: You know your own thoughts and feelings best, so stick to that. Don't tell your partner "how they think, or what they should or shouldn't be. This is being in the "other person's business."

"As soon as you start using the word you, you immediately just piss the other person off," he says. "There's no faster way to make another adult angry than to tell them what they think or feel... that you are more of an expert on their internal state than they are."

So stick to I.O.U. (I Over You) language -- say I think, I feel and I need. (The only exception is when you use you in a question: What do you want? What do you think?)

9. It's not about money. It's about what you think about money.
Every person has a financial style -- some people live for today, others want to save for tomorrow. "Neither is right or wrong," So, the key is to stop trying to win and figure out what makes each person comfortable when it comes to money.

10. Sex. It's mostly about talking... and fun.

At the end of a long, stressful day at work, after the homework, the lessons and the lunches, who has the time or the energy for sex? Assuming both people want more sex, the solution is to think more openly about sex and to talk about it. Sexual problems usually get solved not in the bedroom, but in the kitchen, with people talking.

When one person wants sex more often than the other, the main advice is still to talk about it. The couple may have misunderstandings about what they are doing, what they want to do and what they could do. Talking openly, honestly and without fear is a start.

"Sex is good. Sex is healthy. Sex is a great coping mechanism. Sex is a great stress management tool. Sex is a great form of relationship glue."

Marriage Quotes

“One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband is your own wholeness.”

“When there is love in a marriage, there is harmony in the home; when there is harmony in the home, there is contentment in the community; when there is contentment in the community, there is prosperity in the nation; when there is prosperity in the nation, there is peace in the world.”

-Chinese Proverb

“The couple who prays together - stays together.

- -Unknown

“There is no greater risk than matrimony. But there is nothing happier than a happy marriage.”

-Former British Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli

…Your gift to me is uninsurable. No appraiser can put a value on it… It’s like fruit of the month or a lifetime subscription – a perpetual-motion happiness machine. It starts off fresh and brand new every day, shining up my whole world…”

-Ronald Reagan – in a letter to his wife Nancy

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

-Mignon McLaughlin

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

-Mother Teresa

“Being in a long marriage is a little bit like that nice cup of coffee every morning – I might have it every day, but I still enjoy it.”

-Stephen Gaines

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

-Winston Churchill

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

-Lyndon B. Johnson

“Marriage: If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”

-F. Burton Howard

A  good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

-Michel de Montaigne

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

-Marilyn Monroe

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

-Benjamin Franklin

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”

-Robert Quillen

“To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.”

-Robert Brault

“The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little ‘extra’ every day, as often as possible, for as long as we both shall live.”

-Fawn Weaver

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”

-Darlene Schacht

“Love is the greatest gift when given. It is the highest honor when received.”

-Fawn Weaver

“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.”

-Henry Ford

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”

-Dave Meurer

“A fool in love makes no sense to me. I only think you are a fool if you do not love.”

-Unknown

“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything and two minus one equals nothing.”

-Mignon McLaughlin

“Love is a partnership of two unique people who bring out the very best in each other, and who know that even though they are wonderful as individuals, they are even better together.”

-Barbara Cage

“The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.”

-

“Love is always bestowed as a gift -freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved, we love to love.”

-

“Enjoy the little things in life… For one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.”

-Kurt Vonnegut

“When you compromise your beliefs for the sake of gain,  that is a lack of integrity. When you compromise your beliefs for the sake of greater understanding with your spouse, that’s called wisdom.”

-Ogden Nash

 “One day, in your search for happiness, you discover a partner by your side, and you realize that your happiness has come to help you search.”

-Robert Brault

“A happy marriage doesn’t mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you’ve chosen to look beyond the imperfections.”

-

“A successful marriage isn’t the union of two perfect people. It’s that of two imperfect people who have learned the value of forgiveness and grace.”

-

“The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.”

-

 “Happiness in marriage is a moment by moment choice. A decision to love, forgive, grow and grow old together.”

-

“There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.”

-

“The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re still alive.”

-

“Was it love at first sight? It wasn’t then - but it sure is now.”

-

“Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without.”

-Finnish Proverb

“One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.”

-

“Your priorities aren’t what you SAY they are. They are revealed by how you live. What does your life say about the value of your family and marriage?”

-Marriage Today

“‎A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendship, all the enjoyment of sense and reason - and indeed all the sweets of life.”

-Joseph Addison

“The greatest favor we can do our children is to give visible example of love and esteem to our spouse. As they grow up, they may then look forward to maturity so they too can find such love.”

-Eucharista Ward

“Marriage has the power to set the course of your life as a whole. If your marriage is strong, even if all the circumstances in your life around you are filled with trouble and weakness, it won’t matter. You will be able to move out into the world in strength.”

-Timothy Keller

“In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy.”

-Albert Clark

“One of the most beautiful things in the world is a woman’s heart. It is fragile yet strong. Delicate yet resilient. When a woman gives you her heart, she gives you her most prized possession. If you love, nurture, cherish and protect it, she’ll give you the world.”

-Fawn Weaver

“Rules for a happy marriage:

1. Never both be angry at the same time. 2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. 3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your spouse. 4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly. 5. Never bring up mistakes from the past. 6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other. 7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. 8. At least once a day say a kind word or pay a compliment to your partner. 9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness. 10. It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is usually the one who does the most talking.”

-Unknown

“Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking.”

-Chinese Proverb

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

-Theodore Hesburgh

“What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.”

-Nathaniel Hawthorne

“The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.”

-Amy Grant

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”

-Tom Robbins

“Love is not something you look for… love is something you become.”

-Alina Villasante

“It’s the little things that keep us together. Those little things will make me love you forever.”

-Sonia Schaad

“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.”

-Unknown

“Being someone’s first love may be great, but to be their last is beyond perfect.”

-Unknown

“Any home can be a castle when the king and queen are in love.”

-Unknown

“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

-Unknown

“A wise physician once said, ‘The best medicine for humans is love.’ Someone asked, ‘What if it doesn’t work?’ He smiled and answered, ‘Increase the dose’.”

-Unknown

“The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It’s focused attention.”

-Rick Warren

“A happy man married the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries.”

-Susan Douglas

“There is no such thing as a perfect man or a perfect marriage. But the one I have is perfect for me.”

-Fawn Weaver

“A great spouse loves you exactly the way you are. An extraordinary spouse helps you grow; inspires you to be, do and give your very best.”

-Fawn Weaver

“You don’t love someone because they’re perfect. You love them in spite of the fact they’re not.”

-Jodi Picoult

“In the enriching of marriage, the big things are the little things. There must be constant appreciation for each other and thoughtful demonstration of gratitude. A couple must encourage and help each other grow. Marriage is a joint quest for the good, the beautiful, and the divine”

-James E. Faust

“It’s always nice to have someone in your life who can make you smile even when they’re not around.”

-Unknown

“Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.”

-Julins Gordon

“This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more they possess.”

-Rainer Maria Rilke

“Having a partner in this lifetime to grow together, love completely, ride out every storm and overcome all of life’s challenges is one of the most beautiful blessings of marriage.”

-Fawn Weaver

“The beauty of marriage is not always seen from the very beginning…but rather as love grows and develops over time.”

-Fawn Weaver

“Walking with your hand in mine and mine in yours, that’s exactly where I want to be always.”

-Fawn Weaver

“Marriage is a partnership of two unique people who bring out the very best in each other, and who know that even though they are wonderful as individuals, they are even better together.”

-Barbara Cage

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.

-Franz Schubert

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

 
 
     
 

 




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Phone: +91 (079) 26672700
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Email : prakashbaroda45@gmail.com
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